Project: SAI - frustrations

It's really frustrating.. I'm mean my bad habit is frustrating... I can never excel at any hobby I pick up because of my bad habit...

I can say I know how to do a lot of things... At least for an average person. I can crochet, sculpt miniatures using clay, draw digitally or draw on paper, I know how to knit, create beaded jewelry, I know macramé, I can take fairly decent pictures, I can play the piano, I can play some songs on a guitar, I can go wall climbing, play tennis, I can bake cookies...

BUT...

I'm not good at any of those things... I just know how to do them. With my personality, I can't master any of the things I mentioned. I could've been really good at playing the piano since I started really young... but I lost interest once I was able to self study a whole book of church songs sheet music, then I moved on to a different hobby.

I'm really frustrated that I get satisfied after learning instead of being satisfied after mastering a certain craft...

An average person would call me talented.. but if they compare me to those who have mastered their craft.. :( I'm nothing...

Miniature creatures:

Left: Joojoo's Miniatures... (She's one of my idols when it comes to creativity)

Right: My messy miniature creatures...

Miniature food:

 

Left: Snowfern Clover's AMAZING miniatures.

Right: My distorted tarts...

Digital Art

 

Left: Dahlia's Art...  LOVE!

Right: My lame attempts... I'm no where near Dahlia's skills... /sob

Project: SAI

I recently acquired a copy of "SAI Paint tool"  because I was super jealous one of my classmates in college who used to admire my artworks can now do something that I can't or something that I wanted to... =_=

~_~ to be motivated by something like that... selfish me... huhu

Anyway, just for the sake of sharing... even though I'm not as skilled as my school mate or anyone in the artsy fartsy industry... =_= here's my test art using a 6 year old Wacom Graphire tablet and SAI.

I was playing around with the Tablet pressure settings and started sketching ^_^

I got super frustrated after sketching.. I had a hard time Inking my sketch so I looked for some tutorials and practiced on a smaller sketch =_= There aren't many tutorials for SAI inking... most are just showing off and some don't even mention what tool they use... The tutorials are more like "How to Draw manga" or "Introduction to SAI tools" or "See how I draw" grrrr frustrating!

When I was already comfortable using my tablet and inking I went back to my first sketch and did the inking... obviously the inking for the face, eyes and the hair doesn't match =_= I really need more practice

Here's the first sketch with hair and color. 

Another frustrating part of the drawing is the hair!!! I hate her hair!!!!! The reason I changed her hair from pigtails to a bob was because it was difficult to paint *sobs* I wanted her to have dark blue hair but it was really difficult to make it presentable.

I love making the eyes though, I still need to pick up a certain technique or a signature eye look.

I played around with the hue and saturation of the eyes~ I love it when it's red!!! but her damn hair doesn't match!

 =_= Gotta clean up some parts.. I really need more practice... when I finish I want to make some cute chibi characters!

Kirino Kousaka Acquired!

I was finally able to get my hands on her, thank you tiniks!!!

*She's here!!!!*

Weeee~! I tried not to open the box at work... but I couldn't help it!

Look at all those parts~ <3

 I tried to put her on display at my workstation but I was scared someone would take her

I call this her "Kilig" face (giddy)

Need to let everyone know I got her!

Source

Done texting! She's not an exact copy of how she looks in the anime.. see below:

But look! Kyaaa~!

Edit.. Additional info:
Nendoroid Kirino Kousaka is from the anime series Ore no Imouto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai.


She is the younger of two siblings of the Kousaka family, and is the overachiever of the two. However, she keeps a secret to her family - that she is an avid otaku and a fan of adult-rated games, especially those involving brother-sister dynamics.



Here are some random pix I wanted to share:

Beef Cube Bento from Choto Stop (Little Tokyo)

The weird polluted sky..

Insecurities

It's summer and I fear the day I have to wear a swimsuit... I can't say I hate myself at the moment... I just hate a whole lot of stuff about myself right now... what I can say for sure is that I hate the feeling of being insecure. So, I really have to do something about it before I self-destruct again... I'll take a geeky approach in solving my insecurities with a for 4 step process to solving problems.

*GEEK!* <-- I know.  >_< But what ever helps, right?

I. UNDERSTANDING THE PROBLEM - Here I will list all the things I am insecure about myself... I should probably add why I'm insecure about it. In order of stressfulnes!

- Milia - I can't wear foundation because of this!!!!
- Body size - I think I over-did my new year's resolution to become healthy
- Lack of Girly Clothes - I think I ran out of pretty clothes... I wanna look pretty for my BF
- Money - Need I say more?
- Freckles - I think everyone wants super clear skin...
- Skin color - As much as I want super fair skin... I also like being morena.. so I'm settling for having any as long as I have an even skin tone. (Morena: A spanish word used to describe Latinas who are tanned/dark).

- Dry Skin - My dry skin is making me look old and stressed

II. DEVISING A PLAN - My strategy is to prioritize all my insecurities on how easy it is to deal with or if I really have to take action...
- Body size - This will take a lot of effort but I know I can do this by removing all my binge sessions (probably a little exercise but I can promise it)
 - Money - This actually contradicts my effort to remove all insecurities I have... BUT the obvious solution to this is budgeting... this can come hand in hand with my effort to improve my body size...
- Skin Color - I'm planning to buy Gluthatione pills today.. all I have to do is overcome my laziness and be religious about taking the pills
- Freckles - I've already been trying to remove them.. I think I just need to be more religious about it.
- Dry skin - I really don't know what to do about this, but most people around me says I just have to drink more water and of course put on some lotion. This could be easier than the next insecurities I have since I think I grew fond of using lotions... I'm just lazy.
- Lack of Girly Clothes - MONEY is the answer.. and a little style advice from people.. this is super difficult because I am trying to save up.
- Milia - Because I don't have money and I need to go to a dermatologist to rid me of my milia.. I'm having a difficult time with this... I tried almost everything I can to get rid of my milia... Dermatologists can cost a fortune... /sob


III. CARRYING OUT THE PLAN

Should not be lazy!!! (Enough said)  *sob*

IV. LOOKING BACK

Should I post before and after pix for each and every.... O_O!!!  Probably not for the money problems =_=