Tokyo Adventure Day 1: Arrival

It has always been a dream of mine to travel to Japan ever since high school and it finally came true! Tokyo was absolutely beyond what I expected! The first few hours in Tokyo was already surreal and overwhelming!

During my train ride from Narita to Shinjuku Station, I noticed that everything was so clean and vibrant. The buildings all looked freshly painted, the grass were bright green and the trees were in huge clusters! Here's a 16 second video of my train ride scenery in Narita. Sorry for the low res, I didn't know how to set up my phone cam. >_<

I stayed in a hotel in Kabuki-cho Shinjuku, which is supposedly one of the most dangerous areas in Tokyo at night... However, everyone I encountered in Kabuki-cho were very friendly and helpful. Yes, there were a whole lot of host clubs touts but none of them paid attention to me except for one Filipino tout who has been living in Tokyo for 19 years. He told me that it was really obvious that I was a tourist. He also said that if he only met us earlier he would have been glad to give us a tour! Filipino hospitality at it's best!

[Personal] Unhealthy Competition

As much as possible I try to stay away from competitive people... They are so exhausting to be with... Here's a quote-able quote about unhealthy competitions:

There was this underlying competition that got in the way of any real conversation... - Brad Pitt

 He said this about Tom Cruise after working with him for the movie "Interview with the Vampire." It's so perfect... you can't have a "real conversation" with someone who keeps on competing with you. I'd rather read a book than engage in a conversation laced with malicious pleasure.

It's hard to work with or even be friends with people who's obsessed with competing. Besides, you can't really say that you're friends when you're seen as a rival, right? It's better to stay away.

I don't really care who's better, for goodness sake, just let me live my life. I don't need to bring anyone down just to feel confident about myself, how about competing with me in that area?

Rant: Stuck!

I hate doing hair on my artworks.. I hate it so much!!! At the moment I have several "HAIRLESS" artworks in progress.

I know what to do... I know what I want my work to look like but for some reason it never turns out the way I want it to!!! arrrgggghh It's so frustrating!

One thing I'm absolutely proud about myself is my being a super fast learner. As long as I have the right tools, I can learn whatever I want to learn. But NOOOOOO... I've tried reading all the tutorials I could find and I have my ancient drawing tablet and SAI and I still can't manage to color hair properly! Bleaaauuurrrrrgghhh... =_=


*shakes fist*

= End of Rant =

Lemming for lipsticks

I think my curiosity for make up products have reached a new level. I've started exploring the colorful world of lipsticks... However, when I attended a make up workshop last February, the instructor told me that I tend to be a little conservative when it comes to putting color on my face.

Unlike most girls, I'm uncomfortable being in the spotlight. I'm not saying that I don't like being the center of attention though. This is the main reason why I don't like trying new things out like wearing a skirt or a dress or even putting on lipstick. I usually go for the subtle things that make people wonder what's different about me.

Here in the Philippines erm... (maybe not the just in the Philippines... I'm not sure) or a least where ever I go...When I wear a dress, or a skirt or put on something out of the ordinary there will ALWAYS be some who would shout out something like "WOW! Saan ang party!?" *Wow! where's the party!?* or "Uy! May date!!!" *roughly translated as: You have a date!* (*coughs*).

New Hobby(?) Resin Charms and a Mini Rant

I've been thinking about playing around with resin for a long time, probably as long as I have been making polymer clay charms or since I stumbled upon Snowfern's website.

Should I pick up another hobby? Every time I see some resin jewelry tutorials I spend 2-3 hours drooling over the things I can make with resin like:

• miniature cups
• realistic miniature fruit jams, sauces, soups...
• miniature plates
• my own rhinestones <-- this makes me the most excited... all I need is the shiny back
• Some charms
• my own beads

I already have the molds for it or I can already create my own silicone molds... All I need is the resin. I wish it was locally available.

DFA experience: Rude Guards and the Dress Code

Update - Sept, 2013: Updating a 2 year old post because some people can't be as constructive as the comments below. :) :) :) :) (Sorry na lang, my blog, my space... If you need anger management, I can help you get professional help.)

Gist of the post:
MAJOR ISSUE: Rude guards
Minor issue/Room for improvement: The DFA website should have posted a reminder for people like me. They have a website, it's a powerful tool to get information across.
What I got out of my misadventure: I was able to buy one of my favorite pairs of canvas shoes! I don't use it every day because I don't want to wear it out... yes, I love it that much.

Competition

I have nothing "positive" to blog about... My mind is blank and I haven't been able to try new things lately. Nothing really sparks my interest at the moment.

I've been battered with a lot of competitions and mind games from my ex... It's really taking it's toll. It seems like he has a delusional competition on who will be the first one to move on. I didn't want to compete. However, I have a message for him:

I'll accept your challenge only if you can make me admit defeat on the following:

1. Education
2. Family
3. Experience
4. Work/Money

I know you're young and you and your rebound prospects have the looks, I'll admit defeat in those areas even though I don't need to wear skimpy clothes or show skin to prove my self worth. But you know, looks can only go so far and with age, there is experience, wisdom and a future for myself with or without you. How about you finish school before you try to challenge me to a competition on life and how to live life.

Personal: Random Rants

My home will probably the only place where you'll see blood related people prioritizing the food of the maids, driver and a freeloader who's after my father's money. I don't eat breakfast, I'm at work at lunch and when I get home they tell me they cooked food that they knew I don't eat. I'm usually out whole day of Saturday and I'm home whole day of Sunday...



After a whole month of not eating, they only realized now that I haven't been eating at home.

Out of 21 meals per week, I can only eat 7 meals at home

and they can't even try to cook the meals I like to eat or meals that I can eat at least.

How can I not be pissed off..

Project: SAI - frustrations

It's really frustrating.. I'm mean my bad habit is frustrating... I can never excel at any hobby I pick up because of my bad habit...

I can say I know how to do a lot of things... At least for an average person. I can crochet, sculpt miniatures using clay, draw digitally or draw on paper, I know how to knit, create beaded jewelry, I know macramé, I can take fairly decent pictures, I can play the piano, I can play some songs on a guitar, I can go wall climbing, play tennis, I can bake cookies...

BUT...

I'm not good at any of those things... I just know how to do them. With my personality, I can't master any of the things I mentioned. I could've been really good at playing the piano since I started really young... but I lost interest once I was able to self study a whole book of church songs sheet music, then I moved on to a different hobby.

I'm really frustrated that I get satisfied after learning instead of being satisfied after mastering a certain craft...

An average person would call me talented.. but if they compare me to those who have mastered their craft.. :( I'm nothing...

Miniature creatures:

Left: Joojoo's Miniatures... (She's one of my idols when it comes to creativity)

Right: My messy miniature creatures...

Miniature food:

 

Left: Snowfern Clover's AMAZING miniatures.

Right: My distorted tarts...

Digital Art

 

Left: Dahlia's Art...  LOVE!

Right: My lame attempts... I'm no where near Dahlia's skills... /sob

Insecurities

It's summer and I fear the day I have to wear a swimsuit... I can't say I hate myself at the moment... I just hate a whole lot of stuff about myself right now... what I can say for sure is that I hate the feeling of being insecure. So, I really have to do something about it before I self-destruct again... I'll take a geeky approach in solving my insecurities with a for 4 step process to solving problems.

*GEEK!* <-- I know.  >_< But what ever helps, right?

I. UNDERSTANDING THE PROBLEM - Here I will list all the things I am insecure about myself... I should probably add why I'm insecure about it. In order of stressfulnes!

- Milia - I can't wear foundation because of this!!!!
- Body size - I think I over-did my new year's resolution to become healthy
- Lack of Girly Clothes - I think I ran out of pretty clothes... I wanna look pretty for my BF
- Money - Need I say more?
- Freckles - I think everyone wants super clear skin...
- Skin color - As much as I want super fair skin... I also like being morena.. so I'm settling for having any as long as I have an even skin tone. (Morena: A spanish word used to describe Latinas who are tanned/dark).

- Dry Skin - My dry skin is making me look old and stressed

II. DEVISING A PLAN - My strategy is to prioritize all my insecurities on how easy it is to deal with or if I really have to take action...
- Body size - This will take a lot of effort but I know I can do this by removing all my binge sessions (probably a little exercise but I can promise it)
 - Money - This actually contradicts my effort to remove all insecurities I have... BUT the obvious solution to this is budgeting... this can come hand in hand with my effort to improve my body size...
- Skin Color - I'm planning to buy Gluthatione pills today.. all I have to do is overcome my laziness and be religious about taking the pills
- Freckles - I've already been trying to remove them.. I think I just need to be more religious about it.
- Dry skin - I really don't know what to do about this, but most people around me says I just have to drink more water and of course put on some lotion. This could be easier than the next insecurities I have since I think I grew fond of using lotions... I'm just lazy.
- Lack of Girly Clothes - MONEY is the answer.. and a little style advice from people.. this is super difficult because I am trying to save up.
- Milia - Because I don't have money and I need to go to a dermatologist to rid me of my milia.. I'm having a difficult time with this... I tried almost everything I can to get rid of my milia... Dermatologists can cost a fortune... /sob


III. CARRYING OUT THE PLAN

Should not be lazy!!! (Enough said)  *sob*

IV. LOOKING BACK

Should I post before and after pix for each and every.... O_O!!!  Probably not for the money problems =_=

Sulking... (Work Related Rant)

I'm not proud of it.. but I admit that I am!

There were 2 emails that got me very irritable this morning. First email I saw was an issue raised by a client... of course, I made a mistake that I didn't follow one document word per word but goodness... The issue is answered by another document that was approved and discussed so many times... they approved it! My mistake to think that the document THEY approved was good... GEEZ.. Make up your minds about the requirements!!!

The second email was about my vacation leaves, which was also approved last week.. BUT this morning... they took it all back... or at least 3 days out of 5 days...

It's frustrating... I got all excited about those 3 days and I was planning something with my boyfriend.. but everything went down the drain...

As if I can do something about any issues that would be raised...

At the moment.. I'm just trying to control my mood...