9/26/11

Tomorrow

I'm happy today. I wish I will be happy when I wake up tomorrow when reality hits me in the face.

Today, I ambushed my ex at his neighborhood to demand a proper break up. Hehehe he was ignoring me and it was breaking my heart even more than when he said that we should break up. I put on my battle gear (Water Proof eye make up) and asked 2 of his friends to come with me.

Four (4) of his close friends accompanied me to ambush him. I was surprised they supported me no matter what decision I made. I felt loved and appreciated. I'm very thankful for having their support. Actually, all of them supported me somehow. This made me happy as well...

Ambushing him was part of my plan to love my self more. This was for closure, my inner peace. It was worth it. I wanted him back but I need to value and love myself more this time so I decided not to be tempted despite still being very much in love with him.

I was ready for an awful fight, I knew he was annoyed and stressed but I asserted that I didn't deserve to be ignored and get snapped at after all the things we've been through. Although I'm not sure how sincere he was, I think he acknowledged what I was saying when I saw his face change. We didn't end up fighting.

I was honest in saying that I loved him, but I treasured our friendship more than anything at the moment. I assured him that I wanted him in my life but only as a friend. He accepted my friendship and I finally told him that we should finally say our goodbyes.

Even though our relationship ended, it ended with a hug and a smile.

I'm not sure if he was only being polite but this was enough for me. I can't look at another man the way I did with him but give me time... eventually, I can recover... I will recover.

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